Every man dreads to hear these words come from his significant other, “Honey I love you, but you really should shave off your beard.” This is especially painful when you are trying to grow it out. If you are like me, you have probably come to love those little chin whiskers. Maybe, to you, it is part of your identity. Another reason may be because it is part of a fashion trend. Whatever your reasoning, you like having it around.
"Honey I love you, but you really should shave off your beard"
In my opinion, women, more so then men, tend to value hierarchical traits in their partner. Women may find Status, the ability to provide for their family, and power sexier than physical beauty. When she sees you growing out your beard, she my question how this will affect those hierarchical traits in you she has grown to love. Moreover, she may be concerned with who else may notice these traits as well. Another aspect to consider, is whether they are projecting their idea of happiness on your beard. She may be thinking that when they became your partner that you would always be a certain way. Instead, this new-found obsession, is where they may feel they are losing control of their happiness. That this new look may takeover the time that used to be reserved for them, solely.
For men, we may find, when everything else in the world is beyond our control, our bodies are the only things we can change. Whether it is your weight, or your face fuzz, these are ours. For us, it is our way make a stand, if only on a small platform, and claim our birthright.
Either way, when you realize that your partner’s needs are different, you’ll need to adjust your techniques for convincing them to let you keep your beard. Here are 5 tips to help you improve your chances of persuading your partner to let you keep your beard.
Become a “Con-Man”
Now before you get bent on the idea of me telling you to trick your significant other or lie to them you need to understand the meaning of the word, Con-Man. The word Con-Man is short for Confidence Man. A Confidence Man is an individual with enough confidence that they can convince others to do illicit things. In this regard, instead of asking your partner whether or not they think you look good with a beard, change their perspective by playing on their hierarchical traits of social status by telling them, “I got so many compliments today”. However, this may develop into a double-edged sword. Your partner may be the possessive type, as such, make sure you inform her that is was from both from males and females alike.
Boost Your Status
It may be time to pay closer attention to your accomplishments and/or achievements at work. Take note every time you did something extraordinary or worthwhile. Whatever it may be, just try to be more cognizant of those times when you were recognized for your hard efforts and ensure you share those with your partner. If your partner feels that this has lent to more confidence or status they will likely be more inclined to let it stay. A quick tip to instantly boost your status, is to boost your wardrobe. Step your fashion game up a little and watch how people notice.
Play into Their Security Needs
Most women want a man who wants to settle down, raise a family and provide for her and her household. Use this to your advantage. Recognize your achievements as a couple. Tell her something like, “Honey, we have been together for [x] years, in my opinion, they are like a dream come true. I cannot not imagine my life without you in it. And, I am looking forward to spending many more loving years with you and am asking you if you can support me as I grow out my beard for [x] months”. This tugs at women in a lot of different ways – they desire to support you and the comfort of knowing you will be there to provide for their children. Strategic and heartfelt, a winning combination to gain support for your beard!
Throw Out Logic, Play on Emotions
It may be time to employ positive emotional ties to your facial hair. Think about this strategy: you were at a family event with your children and your nieces and nephews. They were climbing all over you and tugging on your beard. Fast forward some time, and remember fondly where you and your partner were sharing an intimate moment and they were running their fingers through your beard. Now compare that with this statement: “It is my beard and I can do what I want with it”. When you can help your partner to visualize more positive experiences with your bearded self, it may help to change their perspective of their own projected happiness.
Show Her Beards Are the Norm
This one I cannot stress enough, one does not want to feel like the odd duck out. We all want someone who couples to us. Someone to depend on, and to lead us into battle. The truth is, wearing a beard has become more commonplace then it used to be. Show your partner that society has embraced the “Beard life” by tagging them in an article you liked, or show them how a lot of Actors they admire have facial hair now. If you can help them Take the risk out of being with an urban beardsman, they may be more inclined to accept it as the new norm.
Overall, help your partner to see that you with a beard is not the worst thing ever to happen to the world. Embrace them for their uniqueness and their affection toward you. Acknowledge them for their compassion and for being a human being and you would be surprised how enriched and rewarding your life will be with them. Everyone wants to be accepted and wanted. Let them know that.