This video, entitled “Common Beard Questions Answered” is a culmination of commonly asked questions about men who have beards. These answers will help to gain perspective to the everyday beard life of a man. I felt inspired to provide some additional validation and perspective to these questions along with some additional questions thrown in that I have personally encountered.
The History of my Beard
I was medically retired from the United States Army back in September of 2015. Prior to that I always had to shave my face to stay in compliance with regulations. So, after getting my newfound freedom I wanted to just take a break from shaving. Additionally, I stopped cutting my hair on the top of my head. Then in October of 2016, I moved into a hotel to avoid getting sucked into a new rental lease as I was not planning on staying in the area much longer. The Sales Manager, who had a glorious mustache and a full beard suggested I grow out my beard to compete in a contest called “The Beard Invasion” sponsored by Vintage Grooming. I eagerly agreed. Sadly, the competition never happened due to vendor issues. However, my beard has been growing since. I have been nicknamed “The Suit Viking” and “Business Thor” by co-workers I work with due to my choice of style in conjunction with my beard.
Question One: Does your Beard itch your face?
I can honestly say my beard never really itched. When I first started growing out my beard, I ensured I took good care of it. Plus, I love the smell of the beard products. I guess I am addicted to the scents; especially the woodsy or pine scents. The pine scent for me is kind of nostalgic. It takes me back to when I was a child growing up, and I would go to the mountains. The smell of nature really made me feel alive.
Now, I do have a few friends that I work that complain their itching. However, I told them that if they condition it daily with beard balms and butters they would likely not have that issue. Additionally, the oils help out a lot too. I personally have found that when I neglect my face, that it starts to itch even with it as long as it is now. Every guy has that day where he wakes up late and has to skip off to work in a hurry or he stayed up late the night before, partying, and just did not feel like messing with it.
Question Two: does food ever get in your beard?
Which time? Honestly, every time I eat I have remnants and particulates of food in my beard; mainly the corners my mustache. I swear, I almost eat the sides of my mustache every time I eat. I just went to IHOP tonight and got some pancakes and then hopped off to the store afterwards and could feel the stiffness of the syrup in my beard. I really should make sure to wash my face before leaving a restaurant, it might negate that whole affair.
Question Three: Does having a Beard make you Hot?
My wife thinks me having a beard makes me Hot as hell. She thinks it makes me have this animalistic persona. Makes for fun times. Not to mention I get looks everywhere I go. This Tends to put the wife into a jealous homicidal rage that is kind of hot to me?! I believe that women who find men with beards sexy seek to capture a man who is in touch with his primal instincts. Almost like when a lion Stalking a Gazelle. What woman out there doesn’t want a man to look at them like they are lunch.
No, but seriously, I have not really noticed if my beard makes me perspire more than when I did not have a beard. I guess it could. However, I live in Arizona and I have yet to feel any added affects to heat due to my Man Mane.
Question Four: Can I touch your Beard?
Answer from Wife:
(This is mainly directed at women… I think?) Do you want to swallow your teeth or pick them up off the ground? She will fight them, literally (She is a Redhead).
Honestly, as flattering as it may be, first off, I do not know where your hands have been, and second, it is incredibly disrespectful to touch a mans beard. So, please do not ask to touch a man’s beard. Most men will not ask to touch your beard (I think it is a homophobic thing). Most women will not ask to touch your beard out of respect, especially if you have a woman on your arm. Not to say there is not an abundance of women out there who just can not seem to get enough to drink, you know the ones I am talking about; it is just that those particular women will not directly be that blatantly obvious. However, if they are that obvious, run, run very fast, and do not look back. Or recommend a gas station or convenient store where they procure a means of quenching their thirst.
Question Five: Are you going to keep your Beard when they are Not Cool?
Wait? Beards are Cool? Why didn’t anyone tell me? Just kidding. No, but seriously, A beard for most men who grew one were not looking to be cool, this is a lifestyle choice. We non-trendy beard wearing men look at it as our identity. Let’s face it, most men will wear the same hairstyle for 10 to 15 years so I do not think we will be shaving any time soon.
Question Six: Does my Wife like my Beard
(Looking longingly at wife). Yes! She likes the way it feels on her skin. She refers to it as her own personal Viking Tickler 😉. She commonly refers to me as her Viking Beast, and I cannot honestly say I object.
Question Seven: Does My Beard ever give my wife a rash?
I wouldn’t say rash per se, rug burn is a more accurate statement. However, frankly if I am moving fast enough to achieve such a feat I honestly do not think she could object. Let’s call it the spoils of war. However, she did complain a lot the first few weeks, saying it poked her every time I would brush my face up to hers. I just told her to man up. However, now that is has gotten longer, I often times catch her nestling her face in it, cooing. Additionally, ever since I started using “The Beard Struggle” product line, she will now lay on my chest and inhale the aroma of the oils for hours on end.
Question Eight: Does your Beard Smell?
I am going to take the same angle here as DanzBeard and say if this is a hygienic thing, no my beard never smells. The wife constantly complains about how much time I am in the shower; usually 30 to 45 minutes a day. Seriously, though, have you seen how much hair I have? That takes time to wash!
Question Nine: Have I ever thought about shaving my Beard?
I honestly have not thought about shaving my beard. There are two reasons in my opinion to shave one’s beard. First reason is for a charity. I would gladly shave my beard to raise money for a good cause. Second reason to shave your beard is if you are tired of being a man. I have never wanted to be a woman so I am pretty sure I will not shave my beard for any other reason then for a charity. I seriously just got asked last week if I would shave my beard by my boss at work. I politely explained to him, that if he was serious then he might want to find someone else to fill my position. Explaining to him that I get around 75 job offers a day. My missed call log from today alone was 43 missed calls from Recruiters looking to hire me. He politely said good to know. And that he understood my attachment to it. He then suggested that I give grooming tips to other men in the building who have more rugged beards.
Question Ten: What is the most annoying part about having a Beard?
The most annoying part about having a beard to me is eating. I will say it once, and I will say it ten thousand more times, I hate eating my mustache. You have to develop special eating techniques to avoid making a mess. The food I hate the most to eat is Hamburgers; the Man-sized ones. You know the ones I am talking about, the ones where you have to un-hinge your jaw to eat. The routine is bite, then hook with finger to rake out my mustache, and then repeat step one.
Question Eleven: How Long does it take to grow a Beard of moderate length?
Age is obviously a factor to consider, however, you can grow a full beard usually within three months. Anything like mine or like Danzbeard will take at least one year or more. Beards take time. Beard products do help to decrease time constraints.
Question Twelve: Is maintaining a beard hard?
Yes and no. quantity of time can significantly dictate quality. My routine is about one hour a day to include showering.
Question Thirteen: Do you feel more manly because you have a beard?
I am a man, and I have a beard. It may indicate to others who might have questioned if I was a man prior to growing a beard. However, that question, in my opinion, is like asking which came first the chicken or the egg.
Question Fourteen: Why aren't your beard and your hair the same color?
Simple Answer, is because it is not the same type of hair. Long answer, Science my dear Watson, science.
Have more questions? We would love to hear from you. Comment on the comment section below or write us on Facebook at: www.facebook.com/thebeardstruggle/. Hope you enjoyed the article. Until next time, Beard on, Beard Strugglers!