After a recent evening search on the interwebs, I discovered one article that caught my eye that was published on the rather popular Women's style and advice website/magazine publication, Cosmopolitan. This particular article was titled '10 Things Guys With Beards Think When Going Down On You'.
My apologies if you are reading this before the watershed of as you are tucking into your breakfast before a busy days work, but apparently us bearded fellows have a wide array of filthy thoughts running through our minds when it comes to pleasing our lovely lush ladies between the sheets.
After reading this article in its entirety and having a jolly good chuckle in the process, I thought it would be rather fitting to take a small handful of my most favourites from their list and give you my opinion, being bearded and all.
So without further ado, here's What Bearded Men Think About During Certain Intimate Moments...
I WONDER IF THAT TICKLES?
Whilst making out with a woman's ''Lady Garden'' shall we say, it certainly pings up in our mind if our face fuzz adds a certain 'SHAZAM!' to the whole experience. Most of us 'beardos' are listening out for the right moans, groans and movements to help guide us on our quest of creating the 'Big O'. But I can only imagine our fuzz must tickle a little, but hopefully in all the right places.
THERE'S A HAIR IN MY MOUTH, AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHO IT BELONGS TO!
Stray hairs for any beardsmen are a common daily sighting. But what happens if we find a loose hair in our mouth during 'THAT' moment and have no idea who the owner is?
Probably best we not highlight this finding during such moments, just quietly remove it, and carry on as if it never happened, I say.
I SHOULD PROBABLY SHAVE!
Said no bearded gentleman, EVER.
I know our moustaches can grow rather bushy causing us a slight obstacle when eating and performing certain errm...tasks shall we say, ahem. But that is never a reason to axe away at one's face like a knife wielding lunatic.
Instead, it takes a little more practice to master the art of 'eating out' shall we say, without copping a mouthful of whiskers in the process, but heck, practice makes perfect, right? And I very much doubt any woman is going to complain if you'd like to practice more often.
I'M PRETTY SURE MY BEARD IS TICKLING HER BUTTHOLE!
I know, I know, today's blog probably should have probably come with some sort of warning sticker. But this one was far too hilarious to leave out of my blog list.
Yes, if you pack a certain length upon your chin, the chances are your fuzz is going to reach certain areas that usually wouldn't be attended to. Now, do we freak out, pulling away your face fuzz and yell EEEERR! before puking?
Or do we instead embrace the moment and see where this might lead? I'll let you decide on this one, I guess. Let's just hope whatever happens your partner has wiped accordingly or we're all in trouble.
I can only applaud the writer of that article, as it certainly gave me a giggle or three whilst reading through that list. Is there anything you would like to add that didn't make the listing? By all means let us have your thoughts in the comments section below.
And until next time, Beard on Brothers, Beard on...