The internet is a powerful tool full of useful information when used correctly. Although not entirely factual, Google can help with any burning question you have on your mind and usually offers pages upon pages of opinions from around the world wide web. But what happens when the internet goes wrong? Today, I wanted to highlight, then debug a few of these occasions when the interwebs have got it totally wrong in regards to our marvelous man beards, so let's get started with 'When The Internet Gets Our beards Totally Wrong'...
HOLY SH*T! THERE'S POOP IN OUR BEARDS!
Everyone needs to chill their beans, there is in fact no turds hidden away inside your beard ready to attack anybody within arms length, although ''reports'' and so called ''studies'' would like to have you think there was. It all started a few years or so ago when the internet went into meltdown attacking fellow beardsmen around the globe, as reports broke that poop particles had been discovered in swabs taken from men's facial hair by scientists. Truth is, it was a small time news anchor reporter that studied not even a handful of blokes, which displayed that germ particles that are also found in human feces, but not solely had been discovered amongst other things in mens beards. And through the power of social media every Tom, Dick and Harry (A very British saying, Google it!) help spread this false information that poop had been harvesting away inside our bushy chops. To shoot down the story a real study later took place which actually proved that ''clean shaven'' faces contained an array of much higher levels of germs and nasties in comparison to our beards. So, there's a middle finger to you, Mr internet hearsay!
BEARDED MEN ARE MOST LIKELY TO CHEAT!
Again, more internet ''studies'' suggested that bearded men were most likely to cheat on their good ladies, or good men, depending on how you choose to sail the sea, and labelled us all 'love rats' and 'cheaters' without a real shred of evidence to back up such slanderous claims. Truth be told, in my opinion how can you judge a man's moral standing based of his beard? You can take the smartest, most faithful guy on the face of the planet, slap a beard on him and he becomes an grade one asshole? I highly doubt it. I heavily question any 'study' on such findings at the best of times, and suggest you do the same. To make lighter of the situation I joked in a previous blog post of ours that maybe this is the case simply because us bearded fellows appear a little sharper on the eye, therefore receive a touch more attention for opportunity in comparison to those 'nakey faces' we live alongside. Again, all in good faith and light hearted humour, of course.
BEARDED GENTLEMEN ARE ALL LIARS!
Much like the so called ''study'' we discussed above, this statement also grinds my gears. The internet once said that bearded men are most likely to tell a lie compared to our peers. Now, I'm assuming this ''study'' is not suggesting anything too malicious, but instead are referring to little white lies which are often fairly harmless. But again, it boils down to judging a man's character and standing solely based on if he chooses to grow a beard or not. Although this story is highly conflicting as it seems no two stories seem to read the same, and the so called ''facts'' are pretty sketchy, which in turn makes me question if any sort of study ever existed in the first place. But this is often how such rumours start, and grow (pun totally intended!) into bullsh*t stories that live forever on the web. Here's an idea, let's not judge another's moral standing based on his facial hair, just an idea.
HAVING A BEARD MAKES YOU LOOK SCRUFFY AND UNCLEAN!
If you are a fellow bearded man you'll have a solid understanding at just how much love, time and consideration it takes to maintain a healthy fabulous beard. Yes, beards grow upon our faces for free, but that doesn't stop us taking exceptional care of our furry chops by washing in the finest beard wash and conditioners, treating it to nourishing premium beard oils and balms. So to come to the assumption that we are simply ''too lazy to shave'' or figure our facial hair is dirty seems ludicrous to me. If anything we probably spend a damn sight more time in the mirror taking exceptional care when it comes to grooming. Just because we do not shave doesn't mean we do not clean. Let's iron that stupid rumour out once and for all. It's Simply false, rather annoying and keeps popping up on our social media timelines far too often for my liking.
So there you have it! A few internet stories that have been scratching away at the surface of my mind for sometime that I wanted to silence once and for all. If you have any thoughts, feedback or beard related questions let us have it in the comments section you'll find provided below.
And until next time, Beard on Brothers, Beard on...